Editing ... still

Is it ever over?  Sixth editing pass on Leaving Wonderland.  I'd copied a small snippet for a game on Twitter in the #WritingCommunity and noticed a 'form' that was supposed to be a 'from'.  Then I noticed a passive voice on the same page.  I thought I covered all of this in the first five passes.

Apparently not.

Back to page one, finding small bits of passive voice, weak words that needed stronger ones, hinted at meanings that were so obscure that even I puzzled over them.  Tidying, cleaning, adding, subtracting.  At what point is a novel complete?

Damned if I know.

Aaron D McClelland
Penticton, BC

Author's Website

Nest of the Coquatrix ...

 

"I'm going to go now." Lawrence said, his voice suddenly weary and flat.

"Before you go, I'd like you to do one thing for me." Nigel said, taking a fresh pad of paper and a pen from his desk, "Are you right or left handed?"

"Right.  Why?" Lawrence said and Nigel saw the suspicion on his face.

"There's a technique called 'non-dominant handwriting'." he explained, knowing that he had to be candid to gain Lawrence's cooperation, "Your non-dominant hand is your left and I'd like you to write an answer to a question on the paper for me."

"Are you trying to make me look foolish?" Lawrence asked, staring at the pen and paper, "Getting me to scrawl a sentence like I'm a four year old so you can laugh at me?"

"Not at all." Nigel assured him, leaning back in his chair to relinquish all control or influence.  He needed Lawrence to do this willingly.

"This technique taps into our younger selves, which have direct access to our subconscious.  It can be revealing both to a therapist and a patient."

"What do you want me to write?"

"You've told me what Big Belly wanted you to do.  I want you to write down what you want to do."

Lawrence pondered.

"That's a big ask."

"I know it is.  But you have voiced a disdain for falsehood and secrets.  Doing this may open a door in our relationship that leads to understanding and validation."

Lawrence smiled.

"I'll make you a deal.  Give me an envelope and I'll write my answer and seal it in the envelope.  You can only read it after I'm gone."

"That sounds fair." Nigel said as he pulled an envelope from his desk drawer and handed it to Lawrence.

"And you won't laugh if it's messy?" Lawrence asked as he turned the pad toward himself and picked up the pen.

"I will never laugh at you, Lawrence.  I promise."

"What I want to do?"

"Yes."

"Don't watch me." Lawrence said.

Nigel swivelled his chair so he was facing the glass wall, still able to see Lawrence but not what he was writing.  He waited until Lawrence had finished, put down the pen and tore the sheet free of the pad, then folded it and placed it in the envelope.  He watched him carefully lick the flap and seal it, then place it on Nigel's desk.

"Okay." Lawrence said and Nigel turned back, seeing Lawrence's bemused smile.  He made no move to pick up the envelope.

"Next week?  Same bat channel. Same bat time?

"Thursday at seven-thirty."

"Groovy.  Later-skater." Lawrence said and left the office.

Nigel waited until he heard the elevator doors open and close then picked up the envelope and opened it, unfolding the page within.  What he saw drew the breath from his lungs.

In perfect cursive script Lawrence had written;

I want to kill her

Nest of the Coquatrix

Aaron D McClelland

Penticton, BC

GangsterStory

The T in LGBTQ+ ...

I wrote my first transgender love scene this week for 'Leaving Wonderland'.  It was steamy and sweet and saturated with emotion.  It wasn't gratuitous; it needed to be there to push the story forward, to bring two people together whose union was vital to the plot.

It was laced with hesitation and nervousness, a natural emotional blend when two people cross boundaries into unknown territory.  But once that connection was made it flowed and reached an earthy, almost spiritual climax.  It began with heat and concluded with a harmonious surrender to vulnerability and tears of the pedigree only found in love fulfilled.

It was a challenge I set for myself, to work outside what I know as a CIS man, and explore a sexuality I am only aware of as a near observer to members of a community I feel allied with.

How did I write a transgendered female character?  I thought of a woman, because that's what she is despite a twist of nature giving her a female brain inside a male body.  I thought of all the transgendered children and youth who lay awake at night wishing they were dead because their true emerging selves are too often rejected by those who are supposed to love them.  I thought of that struggle, that lonely survival, and how deeply emotional it must be to find someone who accepts them just the way they are.

Love is love.  It doesn't have a gender or orientation and is only absent in sociopaths.  We all crave acceptance for our true selves and when we find it we love deeply, freed from our defence against vulnerability, surrendering our souls to the one who accepts and loves us back.

Royal and Renée are two of my favourite characters, first appearing in a short story about an unlikely romance between a Romani gangster and a transgendered young woman.  I enjoyed them so much I transplanted them into 'Leaving Wonderland', my first spy novel.  They fit there.  They imbue the story with mystery, adding so much to the interweaving suspense of the central plot, their love story riding shotgun in the mad dash to the climax of the novel.

Aaron D McClelland
Penticton, BC

GangsterStory